The Harvest Moon Consortium

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 7 TEXAS EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the STATE of TEXAS.

If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The TEXAS EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 7, with a background of Willie Nelson superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled “Outhouse”
My Computer is called “This Dern Contraption”
Control Panel is known as “The Dashboard”
Hard Drive is referred to as “4-Wheel Drive”
Floppies are “Them little ol’ plastic thangs”
Instead of an error message, “Duct Tape” pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION

Cancel – stopdat
Reset – try’er agin
No – nope
Find – hunt fer it
Go To – over yonder
Back – back yonder
Help – help me out here
Stop – kwitit (WHOA!)
Start – crank’er up
Settings – settins
Programs – stuff dat does stuff
Documents – stuff ah done did

Also note that the TEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 7:

Tiperiter – a word processing program
Colerin’ Book – a graphics program
Cyferin’ Mersheen – calculator
Outhouse Paper – notepad
Inner-net – Microsoft Explorer
Pitchers – a graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenince it may have caused. If you received a copy of the TEXAS EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this helps all y’all!
Billy Bob Gates

LMAO

That is awesome! And trust me... I know! *falls on the floor laughing*

-CoS

This one is especially for Angelhawk

http://www.arcamax.com/nonsequitur/s-781194-987447

And for those that don't knwo what a 'mook' is, you are in for a lesson in HM life.

Lol Grae now thats funny

LOLOL exactly !! thanks grae

Funny History Exam Answers

“Ancient Egypt ws inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.”

“The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.”

“Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.”

“In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.”

“Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.” “

“Jopan of Arc was burn to a steak and canonised by Bernard Shaw. Finally, Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offence.”

“In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of thje futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.”

“Another story was William Tell, who shot and arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.”

“It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention ws the circulation of the blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.”

“Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died of this.”

"RETARDED" GRANDPARENTS

Written by a third grader, on what his grandparents do.

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house with a dog and kitty, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona . Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass and no pets allowed. They ride around on their bicycles, and wear name tags, because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on. At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night - early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the little doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck. My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and; says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.

When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

PRICELESS

that was cute Graewerld